What do you think?

Who are we? We’re not sure ourselves. It seems like just yesterday that we were called by Turaga Dume to “assist” with the safety of Metru-Nui. He took six Matoran, one form each Metru, to help him and these proto-type machines called Vahki with these pods. The pods, we were told, were to encase Matoran in case of an attack on Metru-Nui but what he didn’t tell us is that that they could also poison those trapped within. We started going into the pods with some hesitance but with the reassurance of Turaga we were loyal enough and went inside. We had the pods shut and locked on us and before long we were hibernating. While in my pod I had a horrific dream of what seemed like Metru-Nui getting shattered by the hand of Makuta and showing six lights coming out the darkness and purifying the city. Little did we know that outside of our hibernation there were critical problems with the control systems and the pods links and they were transforming us but not in the way the Dume had wanted them to. I woke up out of my dream just as my pod exploded from too much energy transmitting into it. The others pods had also blown up. The dust clearing, I could see that the workers were nowhere to be found and the only thing alive was what seemed like five Matoran transformed into something no one had never seen before. They were the other ones that went into the pods like myself. Seeing that they were different I looked myself over see that the pods had also affected me. We conversed with each other about what just happened and found that all of us had the same dream. Looking around, I saw that a computer was still intact with intellect that showed me exactly what Dume had in plan for us and the permanent sleep of the Matoran. We all saw this info and knew what the dreams had meant: Find Dume and cleanse the evil. Lucky for us, there was a small armory with enough weapons for all and multiple mines for everyone. We planned until everything was settled, we raid the coliseum, ruin the plans Dume had, and cleanse the darkness. First thing was first, split up into the different Metrus with opposite colors of our own so that way no one would recognize us. We named ourselves: The Inusrgent.

Note: This isnt official yet.

OMG!!! Awesome! I would never have though all that out. KUTGW! Can't wait until the full story is out.
-- *DWAN*

Wow, thats great Nickbomb. Lots better than what I could of done, seeing that I'm a horrible writer. So what excatly were they turned into?

Glad you like what I have so far :) Since your new to the Insurgent I guess you dont know that they are pretty much enhanced Matoran.

Wow. This is actually very good. However, there are a few issues with it:

1) Dume isn't evil - the Vahki were developed approx. 10,000 years (I'm still getting confirmation) before Makuta replaced him.

2) There are only 3 Matoran

3) I don't think they're necessarily enhanced. More just your average Matoran off the street who decide to take matters into their own hands. Enhanced beings are getting sooooo old. Naturally, as tales of their exploits get distributed around the city, they will appear to almost be larger than life to some Matoran.

4) The spheres may not be a good idea simply because the sphere/transformation thing is at a point where many fans are tired of it.

I do like the idea of a Coliseum raid. In fact, that was a final goal that I had in mind. Keep in mind that the basic backstory goes as follows::

• There is a growing dissent towards the Krahli
  
• Dume realizes the Krahli's inefficiency and seeks a replacement
  
• He orders Nuparu to begin designing them
  
• The Matoran hear about the planned change, one is interested in what this would entail, and thus begins gathering information
  
• He realizes the threat and danger that the Vahki pose to Matoran and their freedom, and so he prepares to undermine their development.

-End Backstory-

• This Matoran begins his raids and sabotaging. His first raid being Nuparu's workshop in Onu-Metru, where he steals the designs and production plans. Now knowing the Vahki's full potential, he begins strategic strikes on Vahki development locations. During these, he encounters two other Matoran (separately) who choose to help.

I have a more detailed outline that I can present, but I'd rather not do so in a public post at the moment. Think that you could modify this story to better tie in with the backstory?

Eh heh heh heh. I guess Metru-Nui history is a weak point of mine :P + >_<

I think I can modify it but I was wondering.

Why are you saying there a 3 matoran when you have six in the Maj?? Me=confused :dazed:

that was just dwan being dwan! ;)

Yeah pretty much. He periodically goes overboard (not that that's a problem). The other three are just going to be some of the random matoran seen wandering around in the Metrus.

Then what was the point of their "super forms"?

There is no 'super form'. As far as I'm concerned, these are all ordinary Matoran. Our sprites are simply moving farther from the set look, and closer to the movie version. They look more natural in this form.

We('b' and I) may make another insurgent form. to make it more regognizable. I'm also planning on normal matoran(metru-toran). More movements on the main character too. (need to tell IN XD)
-- *DWAN*

>_> So now I get to recode the dumb thing? I always intended for him to be able to blend right in with the crowd. It's part of his character. That being the case, it'd be ideal if we could keep he and the other Matoran as they are. Personally, these guys are cooler than Metruan.

I think I'm gonna move this off to suggestions, seeing as this doesn't have much to do with the company.

Fine fine...I will just have to make the -sequel- with better graphics :P. or just the next game I sprite. Hopefully I will be improved by then.
-- *DWAN*

:blink: You can already do better than this? I didn't think that was possible. :blush:

I will be able too make better sprites. I need more colors and I need to improve my shading technique. And running/walking poses...they are very akward looking.

Dang...Let's stay on topic here!
-- *DWAN*

Really >_> Your two are the A and FA of this site. <_<

So you're like writing this too? And the game?

Sounds cool.

~KC~

Maybe you should break it into paragraphs. The Massive Block of Text style is a bit hard to read, and certain passages have more impact if put into a paragraph of their own. For example:

Who are we? We’re not sure ourselves.

It seems like just yesterday that we were called by Turaga Dume to “assist” with the safety of Metru-Nui. He took six Matoran, one from each Metru, to help him and these proto-type machines called Vahki with these pods.

The pods, we were told, were to encase Matoran in case of an attack on Metru-Nui but what he didn’t tell us is that that they could also poison those trapped within. We started going into the pods with some hesitance but with the reassurance of Turaga we were loyal enough and went inside.

We had the pods shut and locked on us and before long we were hibernating.

And so on. There's some grammatical issues and such also, but I won't nitpick. Good start, though.

Agreed, reads much easier with paragraph changes :P

In general, it's not even canon, so I wouldn't worry too much about it yet. :P